but yeah you remember thirteen, on house, we were both so into her, and related to her in really odd and oversimplifying ways, probably had a lot to do with ‘woooooah a queer character turning up on a show we already liked,’ but yeah there was this whole absurd month-long thing in tenth grade where on halloween i suddenly realized i was TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL i dont, know how or why, not like 'i realized ive been in love with you’ it was just like a weird sudden ramp up from “oh yeah i wanted to Bone you when we first started talking but now we’re just chill friends” into, something torrid and weird, and i started talking very transparently about this ~secret crush~ i had that i referred to as 'thirteen’ which was mostly prompted by how she had an ex codenamed 'cowboy’ and i was all jealous-weird and i was really obvious but it still took like a month of stressing and being just completely sick over this girl to finally dramatically say one day “yeah, you’re thirteen, i’m in love with you” and she was just like “oh, i knew, sorry, [mutual friend] told me,” and then a few days later over msn she was like “uhh i’m, i’m into you too” and i burst into tears. we broke up for the first time a month later, it was, the first of probably literally twenty times before we just stopped talking, god, god. GOD