i need like. weird mystical help. organic help. i need to eat a weird plant and be a little bit more okay. i cant accept help from actual people i dont trust them or get numbed to them and it’s hurtful and gross and i just need, i need to be helped without having to actually be a burden on anyone, i need to get away from people so i can get past this roadblock of guilt over making anyone pay attention to me and actually accept what they say